Do You Need Approval, Permission or Validation

Hey lady!

It comes to my attention that you may need something a little more than the internal motivation from self to drag dusty dreams out of the closet and allow them a little sunlight. It may be one of three things…now correct me if I’m wrong but I’m hearing a lot of, “let me ask so and so,” here lately. Or you jump on discovery call after discovery call just to find out if your ideas have merit and to try to eek out a lil bit of free coaching. Is that right?

If so, I believe you may need permission to go after your dreams….or validation…maybe even a lil bit of approval. No? Well read on and let me share some things with you.

As a  society we’ve been super conditioned to seek the approval of others, (our boss, our teachers, our team, etc.) Our main question, “Do you need approval, permission or validation,” extends from what we ask ourselves though, “What will other people think?”
Growing up, we validate ourselves with degrees and certifications so we can say, “I have a degree in shoobedoowhopdewop…” and make ourselves feel like the accomplishment of that process validates who we are. Then we drag what we did in your job into a business. If not the same concept of what you do at work, then the same mindset that you have adopted in a job.
And we even ask permission from others that we see as our “circle”. They help to legitimize approval-permission-validation-businesswhat we want to do. If the circle ‘aint wit it then we’re not with it.
The very nature of education is to ask permission and to seek approval (grades).
Parents teach the same…ask permission and seek approval.
Relationships also reiterate the same ideology.

But the truth is…

Matthew 18:18-20 says, “a yes on earth is a yes in heaven; a no on earth is a no in heaven. What you say to one another is eternal.”
That teaching is in the most basic words in the first prayer we learn to recite after our parents, “as it is in heaven…”


“I just need to be certified.”
“I’m going back to school because…”


“I just want to know that I can do this…what do you think?”


“Yes I think what you’re doing is great, keep it up…”
Sometimes we seek one form or the other from friends, family lovers and even our own children. I know I’ve been at stages in my life where I’ve sought all of them. By nature we are creatures that crave some type of feedback.
It was Oprah that said that every time she did an interview, each person asked her, “was that ok?”
Some of the most rich and influential people in the world asked her if what they’d said in an interview was ok. Imagine that.

We aren’t always confident about our schnizzle bits.

Sometimes we are downright insecure about what it is we’re doing and the viability of success in the venture we’ve chosen to take on. But it will always and I do mean always turn out the way God has planned so what are you worried about? What has you on the fret train with a seatbelt on?
You know, we often believe that if we were to stay comfortable, safe….quiet in our existence that we are good to go. But in that first line of Matthew, there was a warning. He said, “Take this most seriously…” where have there been no’s in your life when there should have been yeses. How many times have you told God, “Nah, I don’t want this greatness you’ve laid out in abundance for me, I’m strizzle….” before he takes back what he gifted you?

Take it away? What do you mean? Would God actually remove the anointing of safety? Uh yeah, girl.

I don’t know about you but that scares the Beelzebub out of me. I’d rather get in Formation behind the Lord and let Him hear all of my yeses right behind his head.
“Did you send that email my child?”
“Yes, Lord.”
“Did you send the invoice?”
“Yes, Lord.”
“How is that marketing campaign going with the good doctor?”
“Great, Lord.”
“What about the coaching sessions with your Soulphisticates?”
“They are coming along very nicely, Father”
I don’t have time to say no to ANYTHING He wants me to do. I wouldn’t dare worry about the consequences later. The consequences later could have me super crispy and on the brink of a heat stroke in Hell…no thanks. I’ve BEEN there and done that and my life..well it was a train wreck so go back? Not on your life. What about you? Are you there? Listening and following His plan for your life? Or are you looking for approval, validation or permission from other people?
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I don’t need permission from anyone else but God to be great.

I dang sure don’t require validation.
He already gave it to me.
And I’m not asking for approval.
I got the tap on the shoulder and I assure you, He approves of where I’m going.
Asking for approval, permission or validation from anyone other than God is like the word “empower” to me. Empowerment coaches, empowerment seminars, empowerment this or that. Thanks for the reminder…but God already empowered ALL of us. How do I know that? We were born. That’s all the empowerment required.
God is the author of the book on our lives so why would we do anything but go out into the world and just be great?
Why would I need to…get permission, seek validation or approval?
And why would you?